Two Wishes

Blog Changeover Update

So, the blog changeover has not gone well. My blog is now (mostly) up and running on Squarespace, but the process of re-directing www.twowishes.com from TypePad to Squarespace has been a disaster.

Long story short, www.twowishes.com isn't working at the moment. I had to disable it to get back to the TypePad address and tell y'all where to find me! Ironically, the right place to find me remains www.twowishes.com. But in a day or two, when everyone has had time to make the switch....

There are lots of new posts in the works once we're up and running -- look forward to seeing you at the new site later this week! 

Blog Changes in the Works

Despite near-terror at the thought, I'm about to make the jump to a new blog platform.  Should happen early next week ... please excuse the dust around here in the meantime.

Also, if you use a feed reader or subscribe by email, please be sure you're using the direct address, www.twowishes.com, rather than the Typepad address.  If so, (hopefully!) your feed should continue despite the change.

We look forward to meeting up with you in our new home in a few days...!

I Survived a 70s Deathtrap

Recently I dusted off my childhood photos. It's the first time I've looked through them in a very long time, and certainly the first time since I became a mother. Funny how that changes your perspective on baby photos.

Take this picture, for example:

My first Christmas was always described as a happy memory. My mother painstakingly glued my name to the special Christmas stocking, using a large one so Santa would have plenty of room for gifts.... But when I look at this photo now, all I can see are the dangers lurking on all sides. 

The 70s crib with giant slats to wedge my head into!

A 6-month-old baby lying FACE-DOWN! (Right now, all 2009 parents are scrabbling at the screen, trying frantically to turn the baby onto her back....) With a squishy mattress! And blankets!

I was tempted to poke fun at the crazy floral drapes, but honestly I kind of like the drapes. Ditto my mother's clunky high-heeled shoes. But I'm more than a bit suspicious of the long-nosed implement in front of the crib. What were they doing to me? Does anyone know what that is? (Mom?)

Vitamin C as a Natural Hair Dye Remover

I started coloring my hair a decade ago. At the time, I spent many long hours at the back of lecture halls, bored enough to study the heads of the people in front of me. It was kind of a revelation -- at least half the women in class had "probably dyed" hair, and overall the dyed stuff looked so much brighter and more interesting than natural hair.

I usually stay within one shade of my natural color, so I've made it surprisingly far without any crazy results. Until now. I bought the dye online, didn't pay enough attention to the box, and voila -- dark burgundy hair:

The photo isn't terrible, but believe me -- it was worse in person. Time to research dye removers. The standard option seems to be Color Oops, but I worried about chemical-frying my hair still further. Eventually, I came across an article suggesting Vitamin C as a natural dye remover. I was a bit skeptical that Vitamin C could work, but it's cheap and sounded gentle, so it seemed harmless for a first attempt.

To use Vitamin C as a hair dye remover, first buy the cheapest Vitamin C you can find (mine was $2.99 for 100 store-brand tablets). Drop some tablets into a plastic sandwich bag (I used roughly 30) and crush them with a hammer. Mix the powder with your regular shampoo, apply to slightly damp hair, cover the mess with a shower cap, and wait 30+ minutes. 

It worked! My hair is now 2 shades lighter:

Somehow it seems to have lightened the dye as opposed to "removing" it. (Which is actually a good thing -- it didn't take me back to my visible roots.) I'm not sure the trick would work for too-light bleached hair, and it seems to have left most of the red in place. But too-dark dye is easily removed with this handy trick.... Heaven forbid anyone ends up with a similar disaster, but if you do I highly recommend Vitamin C!

My Dining Chairs Are Famous!

I am crazy for vintage design. For furniture, my favorite styles come from around the 1940s, when styles began to incorporate the smooth lines and honey colors of Mid-Century Modern but still retained a few decorative flourishes from the Art Deco days. 

My pre-Mr T apartment sported a real dining room, and I decided it needed real dining room furniture. As usual, this meant searching Craigslist and Ebay for super-cheap versions of the vintage styles that I love. The sideboard and china cabinet came from a DC-area government scientist who talked my ear off about politics and science. The pieces had been in her family since they were first purchased in the 1940s. I know less about my dining table and chairs, which came from Boston via Ebay, dropped at my door by a curmudgeonly man with a trailer. 

Here's a tiny bit of my dining table legs (which isn't terribly relevant to this post, but I can't resist the puppy photo of Zoe):

And here's a chair:

Cut to last week, when Mr T and I were finishing Season 2 of Mad Men. There was an episode where Don visited an old friend in California. He was shown fixing the leg of a wooden chair. And when he turned it over, we saw this:

I can't tell you how bizarrely excited I was to see my chair on Mad Men! When the new season starts, you can bet I'll be watching extra closely in case any of my other vintage possessions show up in the background.

Have you ever had a copy of your possessions turn up in a very unexpected place?

Might Have Babies? Check Your Health Insurance!

I know a few of you are "expecting to expect".*  And of course babies can happen whether expected or not.  So if you're in the US,** and especially if you purchase your own health insurance,*** this article is absolutely worth a read: Health Insurance Woes: My $22,000 Bill for Having a Baby.****

* Forget who came up with that wonderful phrase -- Jenna? Shortie? Anyone?

** 'Cause some of you have national health insurance, sigh.

*** Employer-provided insurance usually has much better maternity coverage than single policies.  (Though it still wouldn't hurt to double-check.)  I'm insured by the same company mentioned in the article, but through the federal government.  And our total bill came out around $500, almost entirely because Elsa's newborn jaundice and heart murmur fell outside the superb "maternity" coverage.

**** And then stop back!  I'd be curious to know your thoughts!

You Asked, I Answer (Part 2)

Well, here's the promised baby update.  (With photos for anyone who doesn't want to read the epic.)

Before we got pregnant, I wasn't the least bit interested in babies.  I'm sensitive to those of you in the same boat, so I try not to go on and on about the kid.  But turns out I compensated too far in the other direction and haven't told you anything!  Many thanks to Negative Nancy, Fallgirly, Sweet T, Allison, and A for the reminder.

("Tell me you're not going to put this on your blog.")

First, the General Update

Parenting an infant presents certain universal experiences -- exhaustion, spit-ups, the addictive properties of baby snuggles....  But much of the new-parent experience also varies depending on your personal situation and the baby's personality and sleep habits. 

My own situation involves health challenges, and also a lot of help dealing with them.  I've been on disability for a few years due to chronic illness.  In some ways, this is the perfect time to have a baby because I'm not forced to choose between returning to work and spending time with our baby.  On the other hand, there's the illness.  Mr T also works from home, and he's at least a full partner in baby and household duties.  My mother stays with the baby every morning while we finish sleep and start the day.  Most new mothers couldn't dream of so much help on a daily basis.  But my need for rest, healing, and personal time is still so much higher than our life allows.  Most days are a long, grinding process of putting exhaustion and pain aside, again and again, in favor of the baby's needs. 

(Worth it for the cheeks alone....)

The baby also presents challenges.  She doesn't sleep much, and never on her back.  She also hates the swingy chair, the bouncy chair, the play mat ... basically any device that would let us SET HER DOWN for a few minutes to get something done.  Last week I told Mr T of a blogger whose infant sleeps for 8 hours at a time (in a crib!), sits in a bouncy chair while her mother showers, and then takes a nap.  Mr T's response was to ask, "Are there also unicorns and rainbows IN THAT CRAZY FAIRY LAND??!?!"

On the upside, she's a really great kid.  The word "delightful" comes to mind.  Rarely cries, loves to smile, loves a good laugh, loves to try new things.  Always up for an adventure to a store or restaurant or coffee shop.  Strangers constantly coo over her, and granted all babies get cooed at.  But Elsa has a little something extra -- a sparkle in her eye, an involvement with her world, a certain charm that draws people in....

(So good at the Nationals/Orioles game, I couldn't even break out the "no crying in baseball" jokes.)

Other Questions

"What has happened lately that you just loved being part of?" "What has amazed you most about mommyhood?":

When Elsa was first born, every tiny problem left her in a panic.  I couldn't wait until she came to understand that needs aren't a crisis because we are there to fix them.  I've been thrilled to see that process play out, to watch her reach a basic baby understanding that she is loved and supported.  As a parent, it means the world to see your child thinking, "you know, that Mommy person and that Daddy person, they've got my back."

In terms of what amazes me, this may sound a bit odd, but: I always knew we'd love our baby.  Everyone (hopefully) loves their babies.  But I've been amazed at how much we also really like her, on a personal level.  She's barely old enough for coherent thought; I can't believe she has any personality at all at this point.  Yet somehow she manages to be smart, fun, interested in everything, and full of surprisingly sophisticated humor.  I find that amazing!

"What do you do for yourself to keep sane?" "Are your goals different?":

I wish I had a better answer on the sanity front.  Mr T is great about giving me a few regular hours to myself, but that's mostly used to lie down and rest.  With no work, no time for hobbies, no energy for blogging, really no chance to use an adult skill-set in any way ... I do feel sanity draining away. 

So in some ways, my goal at this point is just to have goals that I might be able to reach.  But my goals for work have also changed since the baby.  Before, I wasn't sure I'd return to full-time legal work once my illness is over.  Now that I don't have any adult activities, I realize how much I under-valued the chance to do something I'm both educated for and good at.  Now, the thought of going to an office and performing legal analysis all day sounds like heaven!

"Have you had a night away from the baby yet?": 

Alas, no.  We don't have a babysitter yet, and my mother is already exhausted from her "morning shift."  We'd love to get away even just to see a movie, but so far we just can't figure out the logistics.  As for a real night away, when things get rough I have a secret fantasy of spending the night alone in a hotel.  Oh, the unimaginable luxury of a bath, some reading time, and 8+ hours of uninterrupted sleep!!! 

And finally, "How's the nursery now that it's being inhabited?"  To which I say "Inhabited? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"  (Hopefully one of these days.  Not like she's using a crib anyway, but it would be very nice to have the space.)

Pause for a Blue Rat

The promised baby update is coming on Monday. Ish. Monday-ish. I need to think deep thoughts and whatever, so it could take a while.

Meanwhile, I just had to share this photo of a blue rat:

Mostly because it's incredibly cute.

But also, this rat turned blue because researchers injected it with blue dye as medication for a spinal injury. Amazingly, it WORKED -- paralyzed mice started walking again. And the only apparent side effect was this adorable blue tint.

Oddly enough, this week my doctor prescribed me dye-that's-also-medication as well. This one turns your urine and tears a disturbing blood-orange color. Doesn't seem to be working as a medication, though it definitely works as a dye. 

Before I stop taking it, I kind of want to see the orange tears. Okay, I really want to see the orange tears! But I don't know if I'm willing/able to provoke myself into depression in exchange for the experience.... (Mr T refused to make me cry, so I'm on my own. Darn him for being a good husband and nice and stuff.) 

What do you think -- would you force yourself to cry if it meant checking out your one-time-only freak-of-nature tears? How would you do it??

(thanks to Consumerist for the news and photo)

You Asked, I Answer (Part 1)

Thanks so much, everyone, for passing along your questions! It's a luxury to have topics for a couple of days.... I'll tackle the baby questions soon, but wanted to ease in by starting with the simpler ones.

First, a photo:

Susan asked: Hey there, stranger! How about our upcoming high school reunion? Are you going? Why or why not? How do you feel about the fact that we've been out of high school for, ummm, quite a while, lol?

Because Susan is very nice to chime in, I will not point her out in the photo above. (In fact she was totally adorable. As compared to, say, me. Cough*poodleperm*cough.) Nor will I mention the year, but she is right that graduation was ... not recent. I believe that, after this picture was taken, we all went to Ghostbusters. 

I will miss the big reunion. My family moved away from our hometown when I was in college, and getting from DC to Wisconsin is an awfully big endeavor without a combination family visit. I do want to drag Mr T to Wisconsin one of these days (poor boy has never tried fried cheese curds!), but we're not ready to travel with the baby quite yet. And I'm not sure how I feel about reunions anyway. There are maybe 10 people I'd love to catch up with, and probably a few more I didn't know well in school but would enjoy as a grown-up, but overall I'm not big on "remember when."

I am lucky to have a childhood friend who also lives in DC, so we may have a 2-person get-together on the big reunion weekend.

How do the rest of you feel about reunions? Have you ever gone? (And Susan, what did you decide?)

(image source)

Kasia asked: How did your Month of Fabulousness go? Did you paint your toes red? Go to a museum? Donate your wedding dress? Such great ideas... I'd love to hear how it turned out.

Wow, such a great memory, Kasia! I didn't follow up on the Month of Fabulousness in part because it turned out closer to a Month of Adequateness. Not everything on the list got done, which is par for the course for me.

The red toenails were great! As was the museum -- made it to the Smithsonian's Freer Gallery on the very last day of my project, in the company of the lovely Miss D'Orsay. The wedding dress ... I printed off the donation form for Brides Against Breast Cancer, and, um, I'm really positively absolutely going to send it any day now. 

The haircut was a disaster -- when I asked for "shape," the shape the hairdresser had in mind was "mullet." So I went from shoulder-length to chin-length in an effort to cut off the damage. (Silver lining, I do kind of like the shorter cut.) I have 3 stubborn photos left on the almost-finished film in my Holga. And I really loved looking at old photos and writing the life list. You may hear more about those one of these days!

A few blocks from my last apartment (image source)

Tara asked: My question is DC related. Are you a regular metro rider? Metro has been beyond sucking here lately, and I've had to devise alternate routes around the red line so for my own sanity! I know I'm not the only frustrated one, so that's why I'm curious.

It's so fun to "know" other local bloggers, isn't it? Also, poor dear, I'm sorry you have to deal with the Red Line each day! Which direction? I used to ride the Red Line between Takoma Park (home) and Union Station (work), but haven't ridden regularly since my disability began a couple of years ago. Was so happy to miss everything related to the accident a few weeks back -- my former roommate says it's still a mess getting home to Takoma each day.

My mother has lived in DC for 6 months, and she only made it onto the Metro for the first time today. It was funny explaining all the "rules" -- I was sure to cover "stand right on the escalators" early and often! 

What Do YOU Want to Know?

I can't complete a blog post to save my life. I keep getting halfway done and ... fizzling. Am going through an unusually fatigued stretch, and I'm just not feeling the inspiration.

So, here's a plea to all of you for the inspiration I lack: Is there anything you want to know? About my life, or, gosh, I don't know, maybe even life in general? Whatever, I can use Google. Just please give me something -- anything -- to work with!